You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We were destined to go to rehab together
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
