I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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