He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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