So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
