I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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