Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im holly from the hills drunk
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
