Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
