we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
