i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
