so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
