Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
