South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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