Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
