so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
