I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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