So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
