a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
why do cheetos always look like penises
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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