it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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