I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
so much tequila, so little girl.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
