Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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