We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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