I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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