Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
