I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
