I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
