Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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