i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
