Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
