Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
