she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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