the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
