I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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