Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
