so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
