at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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