you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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