so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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