That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
