I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
