Actions speak louder than pants.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
