bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
