Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just cut my nipple shaving
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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