Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
