If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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