i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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