Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
