Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
