I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
