Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
