all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
