nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
