Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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