just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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