Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
