Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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