the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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