i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
