what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
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