I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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