Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
