so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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